月荷

Out of Topic

2012-02-05T00:25:00.000+08:00

... I'm out of topic and inspiration again. T.T

That's why I haven't been blogging for the past week. Wanted to do another nail art tutorial but then I haven't been blogging anything with nice contents these few weeks. Nowadays, it's so hard for me to be inspired to do something. Like, last time, I could blog every couple of days because I had so many things on my mind but then, now, it's so hard. :(

It's so sad cos' I really want to do something good out of this blog. But flunyway, I'm working on my new blogskin now. So far, it's not really going that well because .... the design turns out to be kinda like, out of m expectations.

Just stay tune and I'll come out with something more refreshing soon. : D

How I Usually Do My Nails

2012-01-28T16:19:00.000+08:00

So sorry for not updating that much lately. I've just moved to a new house and I'm still busy helping around in the new house and for Chinese New Year decorations. Phew, it's been tiring this two weeks. I haven't really got much inspiration and that's why, my blog traffics have been dropping like that. :(

Flunyay, it's so naise to see that I have a couple of more followers in my blog. Muahahahah...

People who know me well, especially in my college, know that I pretty much have different nails every week. Like, I spend so much time doing nail art that sometimes I'm so scared that my results will fall.

So I intend to hao lian my creations here cos' if I don't do something on my blog, it will rot.

This one is maroon polka dot one with glittery pink. Did it with OPI nail polish. Usually I don't use OPI ones cos I so poor like beggar like that. But then my sister came back now and she has so many OPI ones and I s happy using them like a boss. Flunyway, I usually did my polka dots with hair clips like this:

Nah, this kind of hair clips that you can get from Sinma. But remember to get those where their tips are rounded ones.

And then I usually dip them into the nail polish like this. Then dot onto the finger. Very easy only one. If you want to have bigger dots, you have to dip more than press slightly onto your nails and it will be bigger.

By the way, this pink (Katy Perry Teenage Dream) one is pretty much a lot of people's favourite. Cos' it shines so naisely and it's so easy to apply.

And then this one, I did with OPI Shatter one. So naise. Because I don't like my nails all black so I went up to Youtube and learnt about this tutorial on how to do a heart shape one. And the link's here. So naise to do but it was tough job cos' you'll have to wait for the nail polish to be completely dry.

And that few days ago for Chinese New Year, did this for my sister. Did with that OPI Katy Perry one also cos' it's like a boss. And then the pattern there I did with this Konad thing.

This Konad stamping set is so naise to use but it requires some practices before you can make perfect designs. It's kinda like you stamp the designs on your nails and there'll be designs on it one. I bought this one for cheaper prices cos' I saw it in a bazaar in my college. You can get it in Asian Avenue, Sunway Pyramid (if you're in Malaysia, of course) and I think some other places should have too. Or you can just buy it online. You can go Youtube on how to use it (lazy to give you link). Pretty useful and it's not like stickers where you'll finished them.

For cheaper nail polish, I usually use The Face Shop, Elianto and Etude House. Since I so poor like that, I have to use cheap ones. I've only got 2 Face Shop's one but I think personally, it's my favourite. I've heard good reviews about it. Elianto can be pretty hard to dry but I like that it's shiny. Etude House is bloody cheap when it's on discount but it's not that shiny (have to put on top coat for extra shine).

Flunyway, that's how I usually do my nails. I'm so proud of my nails cos' it's so naise to do. : D

How do you Blog?

2012-01-19T00:49:00.001+08:00

I'm so sorry I haven't been updating for days. I've been so busy recently doing housework and becoming my mom's junior housewife. And it's even busier when the Chinese New Year is around the corner.

This thing about me when blogging is that I need to blog immediately when the inspiration comes. Like, when I have thought and opinions about something, I need to get on the computer as quickly as possible. When my emotions are high (T.T ..... ), that's the best time or blogging. I can blog a perfect one. I'm actually very emotional when I'm blogging, because that's when I could really express what I feel about something. When I start blogging, I actually don't stop. Unlike some people who would split a long post into a couple of days, I actually don't. Some people would make sure that they have perfect pictures for their posts. And many actually take the time and trouble to Photoshop pictures and add funny captions into them. But I don't because hor, it's kinda like my "high" moment like that. I'll just keep typing and typing non-stop until I've completely expressed myself. Then I'll just click on the "Publish Post" thing. That's why, my posts tend to have more words.

Also, I need to have background music when I'm blogging. Which song depends on what kind of stuff I'm blogging. Inspiring songs for inspiring post. Touching song for touching post. Ahhh.... like in the movies like that!

Most of the time, I can't blog about things that I've thought about 2 days ago. Because then, I would have lost all the inspirations and then the points I've thought about excitedly all forget already. I'll have no mood to blog about it.

I know of some bloggers who would actually write down the main points of what they're gonna blog about nicely and then plan the whole structure of their blog. So systematic like that. Like writing essay for SPM English. I'm more of the spontaneous kind of person, that's why my posts have messy structures with repeated main points and stuffs.

What about you? How do you blog? Do you blog spontaneously like me or systematically? But whatever it is, I think what really is enjoyable is just jotting down whatever you want and it's easy and fast! : D

The Thank You Post

2012-01-09T16:39:00.001+08:00

Awww... after I posted my previous post, I'm so touched that some strangers whom I don't know and old friends (thks, Ong Jinn and yes, Sherilynn, thank you!) actually come to my blog! *rub tears away from the eyes*

Thankiu so much to those bloggers in Innit. So naise to see you guys coming here and comment. : D
And really really thank you so much for the new followers! Suddenly everyone sympathise with me like that, haha... see me so pitiful, a blogger with no bimbo pictures has no followers.. T.T

Flunyway, I know there're a lot of blogger who are like me, with pretty good contents (I'm very confident with this) but we just don't have that kind of pretty face or social life. Hence, we're forever alone like that. But doesn't matter, we'll be forever alone together!!! : D

I'm gonna change to a new blog layout soon. Cos I'm pretty busy with housework but everything's gonna be over soon. Finding for inspirations and ideas for new designs. Once it's done, I'll put the reply button on the comments section so that I can start replying you guys. So far, I didn't reply any of these comments cos' I'll alter the total number of comments. Like, if I got 4 comments and I reply, there'll be 5, which is fake one. So if I reply too much, the number will give a false impression and I don't like it (I also dunno why).

Also, I'll update the links part soon and some other parts on my blog because some is soooo outdated.

Flunyway, that's all for now and thank you so so so so much to you all!!　

Y No One Reads My Blog?

2012-01-08T00:11:00.002+08:00

I always wonder, why there isn't much people who reads my blog? I actually have pretty good contents in my blog, you know. I'm pretty confident on that. Okay, maybe I haven't been updating much during my A-Levels days (which, I've lost a lot of readers) but flunyway, last month, I've been doing my best to gain more readers. I've been posting on Innit so much, share on Facebook and Twitter and I even went to various websites on how to increase traffic. Luckily, Innit Nuffnang is such a good place to advertise your blog, I have increasing readers.

When I look at other blogs, sometimes I wonder why theirs are are more popular than mine and why they can earn so much in such a short time. A lot of girls, all they do is to camwhore, be a little prettier, and post a post with their makeup-ed pictures. And then they have an army of followers in short time.

Sigh... when you're pretty, things are indeed easier for you. I've been cracking my head for new ideas to blog about but then my traffics are still so low. That's saddening. #foreveralone blogger.. The pretty bloggers, things seem so easy for them. Probably because they're pretty already and so sociable, they have so many friends that their blogs are so famous. All they need is to post about what's going on in their life. Whereas people like me, who blog more about ideas, always have less readers. :(

But doesn't matter. :D

I still love this blog because there're still some readers and friends who still keep in contact with me. Besides, I have no pressure to blog my own opinion since I don't have to be scared about what people think of me.

But...

forever alone is always forever alone!

Guangzhou (III)

2012-01-04T02:28:00.006+08:00

Last post on this! Phew... these Guangzhou posts are the most tiring one, always have to wait for pictures to load.

Flunyway, from the previous post, from our hometown, we then drove back to Guangzhou.By the time we reached back Guangzhou, it's already evening like that (since the car journey is so damn long like that).

Oh ya, their restaurants very cute also one..

Because new plates and glasses are all wrapped in plastic like this.Then we have to unwrapped the plastic so that we can eat the food (obviously!)

Flunyway, when we reached Guangzhou, we went to my cousin's car shop, something like that. I've got so many cousin, the cousin who does this car business is another cousin (not the guy you see in previous post).

His shop is like so big and naise. This is the outside one, where they service the cars. The inside one, they sell car accessories.

Inside also so naise like that.. Flunyway, I don't think you'll be interested in this part also la.

After that, we were brought to this kinda like a night market place like that.

There're so many people at the market and I don't like crowded places. And cheap things are not that nice, nice things are not cheap. Flunyway, we didn't buy anything also cos' there were not much time for us to really shop. We just walked around like that.

At night, the buildings all so colourful like that, full of lights, such a lively city. :D

And then we went for dinner, which I isn't any special so I'm gonna skip that part. After that, we visited our relatives' houses which I'm gonna skip also since you won't be that interested in my family stuffs.

We went back to hotel at night and my cousin and I so sampat like that went to a minimart and bought some light food there.

We so sampat go buy instant noodles there and some whatever light food they had there. It wasn't all nice, just normal. And the instant noodles, nothing special also. T.T But it was naise trying out food in other countries.

The next day, we finally had some time touring around Guangzhou.

I love this bridge so much! Such a nice architecture. It's in maroon, so Chinese and yet it's infused with modern design. :D The first picture has got that black thing on the upper part because I was in the car and it's the glass. Flunyway, my relatives they so good drove us around Guangzhou even though they're busy as hell (we had a wedding dinner at night so they were all really busy)

And as they drove, we passed through Canton Tower, which we visited later in the evening. It's a TV station and is the tallest tower in Guangzhou.I so good, recorded video for you guys to see.

Our first destination is a BIG family hall (dunno is which family one). In my previous post, there was an Ong family hall right? This one also family hall but they must be blardy rich like that, so big. Siao one, they all. Last time rich until cannot say.And now, it's a museum.

Super naise like that. Compare with our Ong family one... T.T

Ahh.. beautiful carvings on the roof. I always wonder, how long people in the past took just to carve and design all these. It's amazing. :D

The girl on the right, with dyed hair is my... I don't know is my who, but she's one generation younger than me, but her age is older than me. Le sigh...

And the interior is so naise like that,like in the movies.

Tour guides of the day: extreme left, extreme right and the one holding the camera.

Nah, nah... bimbo attempt to take artistic pictures some more. A lot of them are actually taken by my cousin (China one, from previous post one, that guy) and in fact, in this post, most of the pictures are taken by him. So credits to him. :D

That's how the insides are like. Once again, people once used to sleep here, pee here, do their daily activities here. Exactly like the movies. :D

The compound is soooo bigggg!

And beside the family hall is actually a really old building and there still are people living in it. It's sad to see they're living in such a bad condition and the frankly, the houses there aren't big because property prices are high. China's population is so high that many people are finding it hard to buy property. Sometimes, I feel so lucky that I'm a Malaysian.

Another movie-like shot.

The first statue we found there. Statue of couple of people looking at the sky, excitedly. Wonder what they looking at..

And the second one we saw. I like this one. The colour is so naise and it's a statue of a kid getting stuck between the door and another kid climbing up trying to help him out. :D

So naise hor? Aih.... Y I modern 21st century girl?! Staying in this kind of place so naise.

They even have exhibitions on artifacts. Their carvings, are superb!

This balls, they're bloody unique, I tell you. It shows the process of carving an ivory ball. This ball, is a ball, in a ball, in a ball ... ballception!If you look more detailed, you can see there're ball in a ball, in a ball in a ball like that. And the even more amazing thing is that, the balls can rotate inside! Bloody Chinese, so freaking talented! :D

Even more amazing artifacts and carvings. My God, so damn nice lor. Like, their carvings are extremely detailed. I don't know if you're interested in all these kind of stuffs or not, but I think efforts like this definitely have to be appreciated. Where to find carvers like this nowadays? Sometimes I think people in the past actually love art more than people nowadays. Probably because people then are not that realistic like us now. Ahh... and also, saw the "bone carving" there? Now you know what these are!

This thing is a very special thing. Aih... sorry for the wrong focus. It's focusing on the pots at the back but we're actually trying to focus at the front #nooblikeaboss. My cousin... he took this. So don't blame me. He did one, still trying to get a hold of the camera. Okay, so at the front right, you can see a magnifying glass and a test tube-like thing. And that in that test tube, it's actually a rice grain. And on that rice grain, is actually...

these! Damn amazing right?! There're 2 rice grains. One has Chinese words on it, another one has a picture on it!

This is the main entrance.

After that,we left there and they brought us to their MRT station (that means our KTM, only MUCH cleaner, newer, comfortable and FASTER) to their Beijing Road.

Their MRT is underground one so we had to go down.

This is how their inside is like. So clean, so modern. Want to compare with our KTM,I got nothing to say. T.T

While waiting for the train to arrive.

Their ticket is a chip like this.

The inside is like this one. Almost the same with our LRT (NOT KTM). It's always packed with people no matter what the time is (because the population is high like a boss). When it's peak hours, it's X100 worse.

The road at there, when we're on the way to 北京路 (literal translation is Beijing Road).

We were asked to take a picture of this because apparently, it's very very old.

And then we reached Beijing Road! It's a long road full of shops, from cheap to expensive. We didn't shop that much cos' there's not much time and it was pretty crowded in some parts (I hate crowded places)

This thing is another special thing. It's a historical site, in Beijing Road. Apparently, they told me it's a road in the past but I don't know if that's what it really means cos' they say it in Chinese. In the description, it's part of a city gate.

Aiya, you read it yourself, you will know what it is.

And it's actually like this.

Also at Beijing Road.

Oh, you see this picture, see the bus at the centre? Notice that there's this one metal hanging onto the electric wire one (dunno what it's called la, I so noob like that) . This buses, have been operating for about 100 years already. Their government almost stopped it's operation but then didn't so it's still here until now. They just go one straight line and works on electricity instead of petrol one. So environmentally friendly.

After that, we left Beijing Road and went to the Canton Tower by taxi. We wanted to use train actually but then even my relatives got lost halfway like that so we ended up using taxi there. Apparently, it is really hard to get a taxi there because it's always taken by others. So you've got to be aggressive enough to grab it. But then we so lucky, got ours quite quickly.

In their taxi, they have this divider thing that divides the customer at the back and the driver at the front. This is to avoid robberies as in the past, robberies used to happen when the driver let the passengers in.

And then we reached our Canton Tower. : D

When we're still at ground floor . So empty like that, not that much people and nothing at all. Makes me start questioning what's the purpose of this floor anyway. The only thing they did was to check our ticket and then we took the lift and immediately went up to the highest floor

Another shot of flower. I actually find flowers fascinating because different flowers are found in different countries. I don't know if they have this in Malaysia but I've never seen this flower before.

This is the view of the city from the ground floor. It would've turn out so much nicer if not for their extremely polluted air. :(

So we took the lift up to the highest floor (and it's bloody fast) to enjoy the view there.

And ahh... so all the people are hiding up here, that's why there isn't much soul at the ground floor. So many tourist here. T.T

And this is the view of their city. See, their haze to thick. Sigh... the air is so polluted. And seriously, why do they have to design their building in such a way that the white pole is blocking the view? Or else I could've come up with better pictures.

And then hor, there's this one small part where it is entirely made of glass so that you could actually enjoy the scenery.

And it was going to be evening so the lighting effect so beautiful. : D

So we gathered the courage to take a picture. It's really scary cos you can see the down part one. Aih.. this picture, my cousin .... he didn't take a proper one. I got nothing to say already. That half face on the top, you can laugh all you want..

We were at 108th floor, 433.2m! I want to go buy 4332 4D number... maybe will kena.

We left Canton Tower after that to attend a wedding dinner. There really isn't anything much for me to say anymore cos' the wedding is my family stuffs and you won't be that interested in it anyway. : D

We walked to the dinner place and it was evening already. The sky so naise like that, so red. Passed this place while my cousin went to asked for directions.

I don't know whether the place is a hotel or a restaurant because it looks too nice to be a restaurant but I didn't check if it's a hotel. This ballroom, it superb! Never seen such a naise ballroom before. Level: Asian.

My aunties uncle all with the relatives there (my grandpa one dunno who's who). The magic of DNA, it's like everyone totally looks like my grandpa last time!

The rest of the pictures are just us family so you won't be interested one la. This was our last night and the next day, we flew back to Malaysia! They so good purposely send us to airport early in the morning even though they're tired as hell. Good guys Greg are good. : D

Meh... finally done with this Guangzhou thing. So long even though it was just 3 days. And I probably have nothing much to blog already so if you don't see me updating, this time not because I'm busy all those, but because I have no inspiration. We're like so damn thankful like that because our family there so friendly everyday bring us here and there. In the end, they're even more tired than us!

Also, be a good guy Greg and click on the Nuffnang advertisement for me! It's my holiday resolution to try earn money and traffic to my blog! Thankiu you all!

Family

2011-12-30T12:13:00.001+08:00

Family, is probably the greatest thing that God ever created. Parents protect their children no matter what happens. Siblings are probably like your souls. Cousins are like your childhood friends, sticking together since you're young. Your family is who you live together from the day you're born until the day you die. Most of your memories has got your family in it. Your family is what really makes you smile most of the time of your life.

This trip to Guangzhou, is the most fulfilling trips I've ever been. it was a different trip as to other countries. I did not buy much stuffs and probably spent less than RM100 in the whole trip. But it's the trip I love the most. Because it's where I got to know my roots. I remember when I watched Little Nyonya, it says that each an every one of us has our own identity. And in order to search for that identity, we need to find our roots. At that time, I liked that quote but I never really fully understand it.

But then now, it's like I found another part of myself. A part of me that will never change no matter how the world changes. The part where I come from. Friends you meet, people you meet, come and go. The world is constantly changing. But it's family that's always constant, a fact that will never change. I don't know how to explain the connection between family members but it's something wonderful. Love is a wonderful thing. I think it's the beauty of nature.

Look at how parents would take care of their children. Look at YOUR parents. How they would strive for the best just to give you education, a life. I wonder, why parents want to do that? If life is about choices, parents could leave this responsibility aside and lead easier lives without their children. Wouldn't that be much easier? But then why do parents CHOOSE to go through the trouble to work for the family, for giving better lives for children?

Often, the answer is because they're family. But why?

Family, is a creation of nature. The process of mothers giving birth to their children is a nature. And nature, just doesn't give answers. There's no logical answers to family. It's a bond that can't be broken. When in Guangzhou, I've never met my family there. But then, we all have got so much similarities and the the bond is so strong. Because we're all a family.

Blood is thicker than water and I'm really lucky to have a happy big family. It's not a perfect family for nothing is perfect in this world. But the thing that really touches the heart about family is that we all can look beyond imperfections and still feel beautiful. My sister once said that family do not judge you when your friends do. I think family is connected by a strong spiritual connection. We can't see spiritual connection, we can't smell it but what we can, is to feel it.

At the end of the day, money is nothing compared to the bond of family. For those who think that money is everything, boy, you miss a lot of things in life. When you really feel the love of being in a family, you will realise that material stuffs, really is just secondary. I've heard of my friends who's families are broken. I've seen families who can't stay together, who would always fight. I've seen kids fighting with their parents and parents who neglect their children. If only we could look at things from another perspective and enjoy the beauty of a family, everyone would be so happy.

My cousin said, these things are not something to described in any languages in the world. Family, is something that could only be felt in the heart, and it's a warm feeling.

Guangzhou (II) - Hailufeng, the place where my ancestors came from

2011-12-28T03:01:00.006+08:00

Meh... I was pretty lazy to update this but then I don't want to disappoint you guys. Flunyway, like I said, I went to my hometown. Don't know to type "went BACK to my hometown" or "went to my hometown", because obviously, I've never went there before but then again, that's where my ancestors are from.. T.T

It was about 4 hours drive away from Guangzhou, in Hailufeng (don't know how to write in Chinese because I'm a banana like that but you can read the pinyin la, so no need to trouble me go find the Chinese words).

The car's Audi and I'm so excited like that.. so nais, first time ride in an Audi car.

Their highways are nothing special. They have trees too (like, duh!) like us, except that ours are full of oil palm trees whereas theirs are just trees and jungles.

And you know, these Chinese, some of them are so funny. I saw a couple of cars where their car plate numbers are covered with a piece of cloth. I asked my relatives and apparently, the drivers did this so that the police can't copy down the numbers and hence, can't catch them. The funny thing is that, a lot of cars use the same kind and pattern of cloths and this is so that it's even more difficult to recognise their cars! Breaking the law like a boss. I wish I have pictures for you but I forgot to take one of it. :(

As we reached Hailufeng, there were more buildings. It's not as city-like as Guangzhou (so obvious from the pictures) and as we went on, there were quite a lot of sand and sometimes, we can hardly see the front.

There're more old buildings as it's an older place. Not as lively as Guangzhou, just kinda like a quiet town like that. Some quality of the pictures are not superb because I zoomed in as I took it inside the car. Trust me, without the zoom, the pictures look so much better.

Nah, give you see more pictures on the way to my kampung.

And then after we passed through the rows of buildings and old shops, nature takes over. The road got more rocky, smaller and more difficult to drive. But my China relatives still drove like a boss. T.T

The road going up the hill like that one. That's why I say when they drive like a boss, they DO!

It's like going back to ancient civilization like that, I tell you. So quiet, so old and full of trees.

Once we reached our kampung, we were brought to this house, this one's built by my relatives cos he said during the Chinese New Year or any major events, the entire family will be back and he prepared this house so that everyone could gather here. :D

And this is how the living room looks like, not much different from Malaysians. Maybe a little different, more Chinese but not really shockingly different like that. Guess we're all Asians after all, bound to have some similarities.

The scenery so serene like that. So calming. Next time when I break up with my boyfriend (if I ever gonna have one, and then break up), then I will cry 24/7 then I probably will impulsively buy a flight ticket to Shenzhen (it's actually nearer to Hailufeng compared to Guangzhou) then sit bus or train come here until I fully recover.

And I found this hut! Wonder how long it is already, probably hundred years old!

The buildings there so old like that. My old house used to be almost like that too, except that mine didn't have a village like this. So naise, so many kids play together. My old house used to be wooden house too, with a big compound but we were the only wooden house, not a village. My grandpa was a farmer and we had orchard. We even had ducks and ponds in my house. I guess my house is not much different from the houses here too. After all, my grandpa maintained some Guangzhou lifestyle even in Malaysia.

The houses all so near to each other, it's so easy and free to roam around the entire village.

And then we got out of the house and went for a walk. The houses there are so old that some are ruined. When I think about it, these old houses, once hold a lot of memories. Memories of actual people in the 18th and 19th centuries (I think so) living in it. Imagine people in the past, actually sleeping, cooking, kids playing and things happened here. And now, the ruined houses are just ruined. The dead ones are dead. Wonder where their children and grandchildren and even great-grandchildren went to.

By the way, the two women in the second picture are my aunts. :D

Their roads are like that too. Rocky roads and pathways.

And this is a very spot where I'm posing! You know why?!

Because it's exactly where MY GRANDPA WAS BORN! So the fact that I exist today, it all comes from this spot! If you look at it clearly, behind the bushes, lies a ruined house and that's where my grandpa lived in! Amazing, isn't it? To be able to see where my grandpa was born with my own naked eyes!

I so sampat go capture children's photo. This kid so cute like that. We kept asking him to come take pictures with us, then he like want but dowan like that.. haha. Flunyway, that's how a typical Chinese kid looks like.

Some pictures for you guys see again. The girl is my cousin on Malaysia (which was on previous post) and the guy, he's my cousin in China. He's the youngest of our generation in China so when he knew that he still has younger cousins in Malaysia, he so happy like that. :D

Flunyway, after that, we went to visit other relatives houses in the kampung. Turns out, they still kept a lot of things belonging to my aunts and uncles even though they've never met us before. Talk about blood thicker than distance.

I still remember this! It's the family portrait! Another copy is still with us in Malaysia. Used to be hanged in my old house. :D

And these are pictures of my grandma and grandpa!

Their compounds look somewhat like that. Some houses are bigger, so are so small that I see already also want to cry.

Then, at night, we drove down the hill and when to this quiet place for dinner. I was a really cold night.

I even uploaded a video for you to see the road condition at night! Can't see a thing in the front. So you think it's hard to drive in Malaysia? Wait till you come here! The camera keeps shaking because it's so bloody rocky. Our head keep spnning like that.

Then we went back the house at night and it was so cold that we had to wear our jacekts and scarfs even when brushing teeth. T.T

And the next day, we woke up and then went to another relative's house. Don't ask me who. I got so messed up with who's my who. Don't wanna think about it anymore. My head will explode. And they cooked us porridge. And according to both my aunts, it was the same taste as the porridge that my grandma cooked for them in the past! Even food tastes lingers to Malaysia!

Another random shot of Chinese children. Aww... reminds me of the days when I used to play with my brothers, sisters and cousins.

... and random pictures of ducks and the puppy. The puppy so cute and so small like that!

A woman taking that balance thingy.

And oldddddd antique bed. My cousin said it's a really special thing because it's really really old. Like in the dramas like that. :)

We grabbed random kids and took pictures of them. So funny, as soon as we saw kids, we kept asking them come (mostly shy, didn't dare) to take pictures with us.

And because my cousin and I were busy taking pictures, we ended up getting lost. T.T So we kept searching for other relatives and came across strangers we don't know. They don't speak Chinese, Cantonese and Hokkien so we couldn't ask them for directions. Ended up, we walked randomly until we met up with other relatives.

This is one camwhoring picture when we get lost. My face so big, so ugly like that (I'm not saying that just so you can say otherwise... T.T) cos I push back all my hair and tie like that. Had to cos' last night didn't wash my hair. Cannot tahan see it flying around.

We got lost and still so relax like that, still can take pictures around..

Flunyway, while we were lost, we actually stumbled upon the Ong family community hall. In China, our surnames are spelled with "Wang" (王） instead of "Ong"（err... also 王 la, obviously...) cos' they follow the pinyin. I didn't have a picture of our community, only the video but my cousin was in it, and I don't think she'd want me to put it here, so... don't have anything for you guys to see.

Meh... trying to capture artistic close-up picture with my camera like a boss. My cousin (in China one) tried to but phailed but then later i succeeded. We like noob like that, keep adjusting the camera, pretend like very professional but dunno anything, just depend on a good naise camera.

See? It's an amazing picture of the reflection of the water in the well. We aren't supposed to look at it, frankly speaking. We later just knew that it's kinda like a kind of like a pantang. Because people used to fall into the wells and then die, so you know.. it's kinda scary. I was supposed to delete this picture but than I so suey like that.. still ngeh ngeh want to maintain *praytoBuddhadon'tletanythinghappentome*

Finally found a couple of pictures of my family's community hall! It's not exactly a big hall, just a small one with the ancestors' altar inside. :D

This one's our ancestors' board (is that what it's called in English?) at our altar. You know in movies and dramas where each person has their own board? Ours is all cramped into one. Because apparently, the kind in drama is only found in rich families and since we're not that kind,we have all cramped in one. So cute like that.

And while the older ones are talking and chatting about my grandpa, great-grandpa and great great great grandpa, we're wondering around, taking photos. This thing that we're pointing at, is a machine they used for farming in the past. Aiya, my cousin blocked it, can't give you see the full view.

Then, we headed back the house and rested there for a moment before driving back to Guangzhou.

Wtf, I hate Mozilla now (and I don't even use wtf). So slow, just now had to restart, now using Google Chrome. To think that I still pledge my loyalty to Mozilla and this is how it treats me..

Flunyway, that's all for this post, it's really late already, 3 in the morning. Purposely stayed up late just for this post, see, I so good. So many things I want to express but I guess I'll just leave it for now. The next post, is about Guangzhou city. But not really much because we've only got half a day there. Just you know, stay tuned!

Guangzhou (I)

2011-12-22T13:41:00.003+08:00

So I just came back from Guangzhou for a 5-day trip (actually only 3 days, the to and fro flights took 2 days) and the main objective there is not for sightseeing but to see my relatives there. Even I'm surprised myself to see that there's even more Ong family there than I think. Mai family so big, so happy. :D

Flunyway, there's nothing much the first day cos' by the time we reached the airport, it was already 8 something at night. And then my relatives there went to pick us up (it's the first time I see them).

And while my aunts and uncle were busy talking to the relatives, my cousin and I were fak hiao-ing taking pictures.

And then we went in the cars and they drove us to dinner. There's nothing interesting for the rest. Just ate dinner and talked to the relatives there.

And now I finally understand why my parents always say that if you can drive in China, you can drive anywhere in the world. Their cars are the scariest lot I've even seen in my entire life! They have this habit of honking every cars they saw.For us, it's a pretty rude and noisy thing but for them, it's kinda normal and it's even polite. It's kinda like telling other cars, "Hey, I'm here. Be careful when driving". They don't follow the laws and do whatever they want. If we were to drive there, we'll all die on the spot!

... This is the only picture of our first meal. Not a perfect one.. but better than nothing. This blur guy in red vest is my another cousin in China. Relatives will be on the next blog post. Too many pictures to post.

After that dinner, we were all brought to the hotel and spent the night there. It's a pretty decent hotel. Not luxurious 5-star that kind but decent enough to label it a hotel and the rooms are all pretty decent too.

Meh...finally get to edit panoramic view with Photoshop. The room with my cousin posing there. Comfortable decent room that was messed up later by both of us.

Nah, I even shoot the road at night for you guys to see. Even the roads are nicer than ours. The cars there are all expensive ones, unlike us where we have cheaper and smaller cars like Proton and Porodua. Because for them, if you are not financially good enough, you don't get to buy cars. And if you're already good enough,you'll probably buy better cars. It's like all or nothing. So Mercedes, BMW, Audi (which I've seen the most), Volkswagen and all those cars that are for above average people in our country is pretty much normal in theirs.

Even their tunnels are nicer and more modern than us! :D

Camwhoring here and there like that. There'll be quite a lot of ugly pictures of mine (I'm not saying just so you can say that I'm pretty) because the camera's too good and all the pictures that came out shows my flaws and flunyway, my face's just ugly like that.. and I'm too lazy to Photoshop them.

This one's the Canton Tower, highest tower in Guangzhou. So sorry it's blur. I shot it from the car and it's driving really fast, this is the best shot I have.

The next day, we went for breakfast in the hotel. And the hotel, I thought it's pretty small, just a lobby, like a 3-star hotel like that but when my relatives bought us inside, it's actually bigger than I think it is.

And the hotel so cute one.. they even have these as decorations. It's like a mini zoo like that. You can see on the left side that there's tortoise.. and on the right, it's the fished. It's like in another part of the hotel, can't see this in the lobby so I thought it's just a small hotel, until I saw this part.

In another side, they have this big aquarium where they have turtle.. and I'm like.. T.T

The fishes there...

Imagine my surprise when I see this...

... totally did not expect this, with big restaurants in it. I thought there's only gonna be a lobby (which I did not take a picture of it) and well, maybe toilets.

When we were eating breakfast. There were even more relatives that apppear. This is just one of the tables. There were another 3 more tables (I think) who were all Ong family. And this this just in Guangzhou. When we went back to Guangzhou, there were so much more! Until today, I'm still mixed up with what's my relationship with them. Too confusing.

That's my cousin updating our Ong family tree in Malaysia. Since I'm a banana (half-banana), when it comes to this, there's nothing much I can do.

This girl, she's one generation below me but older than me. She's one of my cousin's (who's in China) daughter.

And then after the breakfast, we went to hometown which is about 4 hours away from Guangzhou. I'll put that in the next post cos' there're too many pictures. This is pretty much how my first night and first breakfast went.

Tudos, till the next post! :D

An Update to Tell You I'm Gonna Update

2011-12-13T23:13:00.000+08:00

I'm so sorry, haven't been updating for the past few days. Flunyway, I'll be going to Guangzhou this Friday and will come out with a productive blog post soon. <3

Never done a travelling post before, but I'll try to make it as nice as posssible. :D

So hor, you just gotta stay tune and don't give up on my blog! By the way, my blog skins request are open right now, so whoever who needs me to design their blogs, come find me. Facebook me or just drop a comment here!!

LIN RAN

2011-12-09T23:24:00.001+08:00

This is beautiful, isn't it? You can hardly believe that it's a piece of digital painting. I almost thought it's a photo. Found it when someone posted in 9GAG.

Apparently, the artist's name is Lin Ran, from China. I love China's artists. They're all so amazing and they're styles are just, so light and so.. Chinese.

It's like, they have this traditional Chinese style in their paintings and then blend in with the modern art. Flunyway, Lin Ran happens to be quite a famous artist (I think so, someone said that) and his digital art pieces are all mind blowing! XD So excited!

You could find his blog hereand here and his gallery here.

Mei Tu Xiu Xiu

2011-12-04T15:10:00.000+08:00

This is most probably the most
bimbo post I've done. Was playing around with that Mei Tu Xiu Xiu just now ...

Seriously, sometimes I'm amazed at how the technology is developing. I remember just last 2 to 3 years, it was so hard to edit pictures because not many people know Photoshop. But then now, I can transform a picture within minutes. Makes the Photoshop obsolete.. T.T So everytime you see those beautiful pictures by the bloggers and in the magazines, don't feel so inferior. ALL edit one, can transform an ugly duckling into a beauty.

Why the Chinese Educated and English Educated Don't Mix

2011-12-04T03:24:00.002+08:00

LONG POST AHEAD.

I came across a Youtube video just now by a Malaysian Youtuber and it inspires me to write this blog post. I'd advise you to watch this videos first before reading my post but it doesn't matter if you don't want to.

For those who are too lazy to watch, let me just brief you what this entire topic is about. Well, it's about the certain attitude of a typical Chinese educated person which annoys some of those of English educated. I think one of the factors that sometimes set Malaysians apart is this. We all know that the Chinese educated ones can never really get along with the English educated one, which I find pretty saddening because if they were to open their minds, they could learn more things about life from one another.

Personally, I'm a more English educated person, since I'm a Convent girl since I was young. But then, I come from a fully Chinese speaking family. I speak both Chinese and English in my mind (as in speaking to myself in my brain), but mostly in English.Since young, I spoke English with my friends. In secondary school, which is also a Convent school, I spoke both English and Chinese, but still mostly English. But when I went to college, I spoke more Chinese compared to English as I mixed mostly with Chinese educated friends (of course I still speak English with non-Chinese and those who's first language is English). I can't read Chinese but then in Form 3, I took up Chinese lessons, so well... I still can't read much Chinese. That's basically my background of my first and second languages.

You know, when I went to college, switching to having Chinese educated friends is not easy. If you watched the videos up there, yes,sometimes, we get discriminated. Like, people will make fun of us. They'll tease us for not knowing how to speak Chinese. Like saying, "Omg.. Yeok Ho, you don't know Chinese! You're a banana". If any of my college friends are currently, reading this, let me just clarify that I've never gotten angry with you guys for saying all these things. I've got friends laughing at me and stuffs like that.They'll say it in such a way that sometimes, I don't feel like I'm a Chinese. When I use the wrong words, they'll ... well, tease me and say I don't know how to speak proper Chinese (not literally but let me tell you, these Chinese educated people, they're very good with their words. They won't tell you in the literal way, but they'll put it in such a way that you get what they mean!)

And then, there'll be the Malaysia's most used "Word of the Everyday", the word

BANANA

They'll label me a banana because apparently, I'm yellow outside and white inside. I call myself a half-blooded one since I still speak Chinese! Anyway, the thing is, I think the English educated ones, shouldn't really get offended with this. I know a lot of people get offended because it's not a nice thing to hear. But personally, I've never gotten offended with what my friends call me. I'm pretty okay with it. Because I remember a friend of mine once told me that there is nothing to be offended when people call us that. It's true afterall! We don't know Chinese and really, there isn't any other fruits suitable besides banana!

But then, I understand the constant teasings we get for not knowing Chinese.They'll think that we're trying to act more "high class" when speaking English, that we think we're better off than them. But I just want to tell the Chinese educated ones that this is just a generalisation. That's not true. Why must we even let a bloody language to determine our social class? Just because I speak English so I'm better than you? At the end of the day, languages are used for communication, not for class determination! Speaking English doesn't mean that I'm smarter than you, better than you, richer than you or more capable than you. Sure, there're a lot of Chinese educated ones (whose English are below average) might find themselves struggling (i.e not so successful) but that's because they have not brushed up their English, and because it's an international language, hence they can't compete globally in the world. So, to justify what Joseph Germani (the guy in the video) said, I think it's reasonable that he might feel annoyed at the typical Chinese. He's right in asking people learn up English. You can think that we're trying to act more high class but sometimes, we're not looking down on anyone. We're just speaking in a language we're comfortable with, just like how you're speaking in Chinese which you're comfortable with. You do not have to feel more inferior and think that we're more "high class". Sometimes, it's when you think that you don't match up to one's ability that you will start disccriminating them, teasing them, making an excuse so that you could feel more "comfortable" with yourself. I know what I'm saying right now is a little frank and you have the absolute rights to get angry with me. At the end of the day, if by discriminating others and putting a label on them that you think you will measure up, then go on.But in this case, it doesn't really help both parties. So yup, while I may not get offended with the label "banana" (and I actually find it pretty cute and funny), there're some people out there who would. Respect is what you have to give if that's what you want to have.

Also, sometimes, the English educated ones know that they're not very good in Chinese and because of that, they do their best in learning it. One way is by speaking it But then, some of their Chinese ed. friends have the guts to laugh at them and say like, "Omg, your Chinese sucks! Could you please, stop speaking it?! Hahahahaha! Your usage of words are totally wrong!" ... now, this is what I'm a little pissed at. Like, you laugh at us for not knowing Chinese but when we take the effort to learn, you still laugh?! Like, what the hell do you want us to do? Speak English cannot, speak Chinese also cannot! Wahlau.. I might as well speak Malay like that. That's our national language afterall. We could use a little encouragement, you know. Like, if you're our friend,at least teach us the correct words if we're wrong (without laughing) and tell us that it's a good job and we should keep moving on.

After entering college and when I started mingling with the Chinese educated friends, I start getting a glimpse of their life. And that, I think no matter what first language, we should actually do our best to cross over each other lives. I won't say that my life is perfect but I think that I'm blessed that I can get friends from both the English ed. and the Chinese ed. Because I know a lot of people tend to just be with their comfortable social circle. All of us should try breaking into other people's world, to get what they see and get some self-reflection.

The Chinese educated ones, they're not "losers" as depicted by Joseph Germani. Because you see, when you speak English to them, they're gonna be very uncomfortable. You have to understand,English is their second language. They don't speak English as much as you, just like how you don't speak Chinese as much as them. One thing I hate about people is when they look down on another person's language skills. Look, you're not happy when they call you a "banana" but you think you're better than them when you belittle their English? I know you hate it when they use the wrong grammar in Facebook, I know you hate it when they use shortcuts and tYpe lYK thIs ShiT. I know you cannot tahan and want to be the grammar Nazi (ok, to be fair, I sometimes do that do on 9GAG but that website's just for fun where nothing's serious). A lot of times, me too, feel pretty uncomfortable when their English command is not that good but does that mean that I have to stop being friends with them?

No!

Just because their English is bad, doesn't mean their personality is. While I have friends whose English might not be as good the English educated ones, they have the best personalities I've seen and I'm very comfortable talking to them. So, sometimes, I really don't get it. You can't make fun of other people's English (trust me, I've seen some people who do that) just because they don't match yours up. I know your English is oh-so-great but do you think your Chinese is good either? And stop trying to stay in your comfort zone by comforting yourself that you might not need Chinese because I'm telling you, not knowing Chinese is one of the worst disadvantages. You can laugh at their English but you most probably can't read any of their Chinese. Chinese makes up a big part of the world, so trust me, when I say you miss a lot, you really do.

And as for what Joseph Germani said in his video that the typical Chinese thinks that he's being lanci for speaking English, seriously dude, when someone starts a conversation with Chinese, you continue with Chinese. If someone starts with English, you continue English. If you don't know either, then POLITELY tell the other party that you don't understand what he's saying and if he could switch it to another language. So, if someone were to start with Chinese and you continue English, I think it's reasonable people will think that you're lanci lor... it's not about whether someone can control what you speak or not, but it's just about respect. You respect another person and they'll respect you back.It's not about "I can speak what I want at anytime and by the way, you're just a Chinese loser" thing. You just have to think and understand another party. They don't speak another language as much as you do so it's completely reasonable that they're not that good with it.

So honestly, I now understand why people say that national language is what unites people. Whether you're Chinese educated or English educated, you should start mixing people from the opposite side. Sometimes, you might think that different ways of life and different cultures might make you uncomfortable and that you don't "belong" there. But why choose to think from that perspective? Everything, if turned around, could be something positive. Maybe you could think of it as learning life lessons from another side. Like, Chinese educated ones tend to be more reserved but by mixing with the English ed. ones, they can learn to be more outspoken. As for the English ed. ones, they tend to be more outspoken, they can learn to be more humble. So for those who feel that they're being "left out", what I can say is that, don't think these things as an obstacle for you. Instead, take an interest into someone else's life, learn from them and give them the respect they deserve. If you do so, you will get back the same one.

P.S If you're offended, I understand. You could drop your opinion and what you think about this topic in the comments section and see if you could convince me to change my mind about things! I'm totally open to criticism and comments! :D

My Holiday Resolutions

2011-12-02T15:28:00.000+08:00

Now that I'm more free, I've actually made some holiday resolutions for myself. This I plan to do during the holidays:

Learn cycling. T.T
Yeah... it's a little late but better late than never, right? Many of my friends and family know and I think I'm the only one who doesn't know. How sad...
Continue with my art classes. Cannot abandon this one.
Find a job. I'm trying to find a teaching job. Preferably in a school but I don't know what it feels like to teach so well, if anyone is good enough to explain to me what it feels like teaching a class of primary school students, I'll be happy enough. :D
Make a video! This is definitely something out of my comfort zone but I really want to try making a video about something. You know, kinda like the Youtubers and the vloggers. I've not done any vlogging before and in fact, I'm pretty shy with the cameras but I see the videos posted in Youtube and I really want to try too! So stay tune, I'll try to come out with a video! :D
Apply for my uni.

Not much things for me to do in fact, but I'm most excited about making the video. I'm still thinking about what I want to vlog about. I might even chicken out the last minute cos' I'm too shy, but I'll try to come out with one.

And also, try to look around for architecture courses around and see if it fits me. XD

Flunyway, that's all for this time, babai!

My Journey in Art

2011-12-02T02:19:00.003+08:00

Today when I was cleaning my room, I came across all my drawings and paintings I did from Form 1 till last year. And there're so many ugly ones and pretty ones. And despite the fact that I always think that I suck (because many of my friends are so much better in drawing) in it, I think I did improve quite a lot throughout the years. Flunyway, those were really nice memories and I even took some pictures for you to see! :D

These are one of the first human figures I ever drawn. Haha, back in Form 1, when my drawing sucked like hell. Started drawing cos' I started watching anime and reading manga and inspired me to draw. Typical otaku. Anyway, this is my first sketch book, a DIY-ed one. I used A4 paper and cut them half and then stapled them. I named it "My Drawing and Sketching Book" on the cover but because the drawings were too ugly, my friends changed it to "My Laughing and Giggling Book"! So funny, they practically commented on every of my pictures. :D

And then as I progressed, my drawings got slightly better than the previous ones. And I started drawing a lot of full figures in Form 2. I still have a lot of drawings but I'm too lazy to take pictures of them.

Then I bought myself the second sketchbook. It was big, A3 size and I bought it to school everyday so that I could draw and then my friends gave constructive criticism. Ahh.. sweet old Form 2 days.

After that,I started experimenting with colours so I started off with coloured pencils. To be honest, all this while, I always prefer black and white drawings except for watercolour. But then, I needed to learn colouring too, so had to force myself. And started practising more inking too. And although I still sucked, but at least, i gradually improved. :D

I bought more sketchbooks as I finished one by one. By Form 3, I could produce better drawings, with better figures and better expressions. But still sucked. Haha..

I still remember this drawing! I drew it in class one day, and my Math teacher passed by and said it was so pretty, and I was so flattered the entire day (with a big smile plastered on my face). Now that I look back, not so nice also.. T.T

I still have a lot more of my drawings from the sketchbooks in Form 3, but I'm just too lazy to post it up. Anyway, by the time I reached Form 4, drawing got even better. The body posture got slightly better and my pictures are more lively and natural. Foldings of the clothes also improved better (I remember struggling like hell with it) and shadings got better too.

And then I started painting with watercolour cos' I got inspired by a fellow Deviant artist, Shel Yang. She's one hell of a great artist and her watercolour skills are so amazing that I started painting in watercolour. Above are my first 3 watercolour paintings I did. Super bad, since it's been such a long time since I last painted a watercolour painting.

But flunyway, as I moved on, I gradually improved my watercolour skills too. I would say, it's pretty good. Still a long way from being great, but now that I think about it, I really did put in a lot of effort into these. My watercolour skills is one of the skills I most proud of. But then, it's been a long time since I actually painted, so I guess I've gotten worse. Gotta brush up again, don't let good efforts go to waste. By Form 5, my skills eventually got better and better. But I always have so many things that I'm not satisfied with. Like, until today, I still can't draw bird's eye view, perfect three quarter and other views.

In Form 5 (more like towards the last 6 months of it), I also started to come out of my comfort zone by practising more on human figures, because I knew that was a big weakness for me. In Form 4 and 5, I think my figures improved more because almost every night, I was up in my room drawing comics after I'm done with my studies and my homeworks. :D It was pretty tiring but I enjoyed it a lot, to be honest. Didn't take pictures of my comics, I'm too lazy to do it but they're still in my drawer. But I never get to finish any one.. because the process is too long and I'm too impatient. The only comic I was able to finish was the comic I did for Gempak competition. It was only 6 pages long, and I think I took about 3 weeks finishing it. But flunyway, I didn't get anything cos I was too bad. :(

And then after SPM, I also started sketching. Tried to do more realistic drawings, instead of just drawing anime based stuffs everyday. The above sketch is one of my first still life sketches.

In the beginning of my A-Levels, I still did some drawings but instead of anime-based like in the past, it was all pencil sketches. All are either portrait sketching or still life sketching. Since college life was busy like hell, sketching is the most I could come out with. Using watercolour can be too tiring, as I'll have to take water, adjust colours, and make a mess everywhere. But then, I stopped entirely this February. Juggling my A-Levels and time for drawing is proving to be a difficult task. Hence, until now, it's been almost a year since I last completed a decent drawing. As it got pretty tiring after that, drawing most probably wasn't as fun as in the past. A-Levels pretty much sucked up all my other aspects of life, and I'm completely dedicated to studying the 4 subjects.

Like I just said, there's a whole load more of drawings I did but I didn't post them up here. Drawing is a big part of my life, and I don't know if there's anything that I'll be this dedicated to in my future life. But for me, it was all worth it. None of my drawings are perfect but when I look back, the improvements I made towards it is tremendous. Frankly, I think if I kept moving on and drawing non-stop, I could've done even better now.

So, here's a piece of advice to aspiring artists and those studying visual arts out there. Sometimes, you might feel like in the verge of breaking down, when you don't have an idea, when you're stuck and you feel like you're not good. But you know, each great artist you see right now, they were once in your place, and they kept moving on.

To set your future with creative arts, what you really need is passion and dedication. Screw talents, I tell you. At the end of the day, it's your practices that determine where you are. Because once you've decided to move on with it, there'll be no turning back. It's gonna be a tough and tiring work, so you've got to make sure that you can push yourself to the best. The only thing that ALL artists can tell you is to keep moving on and don't give up.

And for me, sometimes, I just got too tired. The holding on is pretty hard to bear because I've got to practise everyday, never give up. If you're willing to go for it, then you really have to go for it. If you're not willing to go further, the quit art, it will just ruin you eventually.

Eventhough I don't draw anymore now, but it's something that I feel proud of myself, because I really worked towards it. Maybe not the best, but at least, it was once so important to me. It's not that important now as A-Levels kinda changed my life perception on certain stuffs but art, is the best thing that ever happened to me. :D

P.S. Now that I'm more free, I could actually start earning some stuffs from my blog so yup, if you see ad from Nuffnang at the sidebar or below the post, please click. XD

Things I've Done in my Life While I Was Inactive in My Blog

2011-11-23T18:49:00.004+08:00

Did and finished my A-Levels, duh. It's a killer course. Lots of hard work needed and even so, you might not get the grades you want. But flunyway, for any juniors in highschool who'd want some advice on this course, come find me. I'll give an insight on this course. :D
Watched 犀利人妻 and it rocks. A lot of friends assume that I don't watch Taiwanese. They have this impression that I lead a more "banana" kind of lifestyle where I watch only American TV shows and things like that. But you know, I'm kinda everything type of girl. I watch what I think is nice. Flunyway, this is a nice show and it's inspiring (and with pretty Sonia Sui). Give it a try. If I say it's nice, it's nice.
Watched 3Idiots. Literally the best Indian drama ever (ok, not valid cos' I've only watched 2 Bollywood so far, Slumdog Millionaire and this). It's highly recommended, I tell you. It's an educational movie about how screwed up our education system is (involved people committing suicide because of failing in exams). A little synopsis about this movie, it's about 3 guys in an engineering college. One of them, Rancho is always opposing the current education system and supports a system where it's more liberal and how he inspires his friends and others.
Bought my prom dress only to lose it few weeks after that. Nuff' said.
And lost a lot of things. Like, 2 calculators, my friend's ID card, my ID card,my cap, cardigan ... erm ... prom dress (like I said there), my hostel keys and I forgot, some other stuffs. This year is totally my Losing Year. :(
Got addicted to 9gag.com. It's such a fun website. You should give it a try (beware: there'll be slips in grades and sleepless nights)
Seriously, throughout this one year, I've not done really much. The only thing I did, is to study and study. Done.

...
I have no life. :(

A-Levels Is Over!

2011-11-23T18:18:00.000+08:00

The title speaks for itself! Phew, survived this this year!

So now that A-Levels is off my mind, you can expect better quantity and quality of posts in the future. :D As of right now, I just wanna relax and be cool about life. I've been so uptight and so tense and stressed and tired and so many things in my mind during this whole year.

So.. well, let's hope for the better me after this A-Levels.

That's all for this short update. Tata!

The End of Something Good

2011-11-19T14:45:00.000+08:00

My A-Levels is finally coming to an end. Not yet, but soon. I left another Economics paper one next Tuesday and it's MCQ. So, yup, I'm just basically lazying around already.

And finally, I have some time updating this. So sorry, for not updating for the past 1.5 years enough. Reading other blogs make me miss my own.It's my baby! Flunyway, now that my course is ending soon, I'll most probably have more time to reactivate this blog back. I guess I lost a lot of readers throughout this time and yeah, not many people come anymore. And I don't even have that much readers to begin with, so most probably none left in my blog. :(

Even when I updated my blog for the past few months, it was all pretty emo. Forgive me, was having some emo moment. Now, let us all have a minute of silence so that I could be depressed.

I promised, I'm not gonna come with anything emotional in the future and in fact, I'll be deleting posts that I no longer agree with and depressed ones. :D Here, cheers, towards a happier me (*holds a glass of wine to cheer with you). My A-Levels are finishing and I'm most probably gonna make some changes to my blog. First, change my blogskin and update more often. Also, I know you get bored reading my blog since there's no pictures. I know, I know. I'm just too lazy to upload them. Flunyway, I'll try to make things more interesting, kay? Gotta get back my old readers and gain new ones. XD

I'm gonna miss INTI so much, despite complaints on their management system. It is, no matter what, where my memories lie. A-Levels a tough course, but i survived it. For that, I'm gonna reward myself. I've had friends and problems come, but then I learn to grow with these mistakes (cliche things that people say when they finished their highschool or courses). Well, I'm not gonna dwell on how much I learn, I'll let my actions speak for myself. That's all for now for this time, so tata. Will be blogging again soon. :D

Deactivate my Facebook, again

2011-09-02T16:03:00.000+08:00

Jeez.. I really have no choice but to deactivate it. :(
Or else, I don't have to go for my degree courses.

2011-07-23T17:13:00.000+08:00

I don't know about you but I've always asked myself why I would name my blog as bananamylove.blogspot.com.

The truth is, there's no reason. It just popped out randomly. Like, one day, I was thinking that banana was my favourite food when I was young. And you know why I loved eating it?

Because my Chinese horoscope is a monkey and monkeys love banana and hence, I love banana to.
:|
Silly, I know.

The thing that I quite love and hate myself at the same time is my imagination, my randomness. I can be the most random person you will ever see. I can just do something out of the blue sometimes and I have no reason why. Like, this post, for example. I would just randomly blog about how random I am.

You are currently reading a random blog post.

Haha. But no, I am serious. There're a lot of times, when I can't stand my own imagination. I imagine too much, think too much, sometimes to the point of insanity.

That's why I can be quite a worrywart. My imaginations lead me to thinking and thinking can be, as you know, disastrous.

Shit. I think I will die young. If I ever get a boyfriend, I might get so worried that he might cheat on me and then I'll argue with him all the time and we'll fight and then we'll end up in a bad breakup and he'll end up finding a new girl who's much better and leave me all alone and I'll fall into depression and then one day, I'll commit suicide.

Oh God, I can already see how the newspaper headlines will be like:

....

My God. Flunyway, I put it 21-year-old cos' I'm pretty good and happily single (and probably homosexual) now.

This relationship thing, it's pretty scary, isn't it? It makes everyone to be on the top of the world, only to be crushed after that.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to be a pessimist (okay, maybe I am) but then I don't know why, I'm trying to learn to be cautious on a lot of things. Because, a lot of times, unexpected things happen to us and sometimes, the world can be so bloody unfair.

Trust, love, whatever all it is, sometimes, they only serve as a comfort, not facts.

Okay, okay, end of random post. XD

Letter to My Sixteen-year-old Self

2011-06-30T01:44:00.000+08:00

It is inspired by fourfeetnine's blog post which is inspired by another blogger. Really, you should try doing this. It refreshes you.
19 and 16 is not really a big gap for a long time, but then ... I just feel like doing. If it sounds boring to you, don't read it, you can just skip this post.

" Heys, how ya' doing?

Now, it's pretty awkward talking to yourself, but then again, this talking to ourselves thing, we do it all the time, don't we? Flunyway, in this case, it is writing a letter to myself.

Anyway, dear myself, you must be studying hard for your SPM. At this right moment 3 years ago, you should be erm.. lemme think... drawing. Yeah, most probably. Ahh ... how could I ever forget. The days when you were most hardworking. When most of your friends are sleeping at night, you'd be finishing your homework, study and then it's time for drawing. Now that I think about it, the comics that (which are ALL half way done) you've drawn are still in my drawer. Heck, even drawings from Form 1 are still in the drawer. I shall call it the drawing drawer. Buahaha....

Whatever it is, just to tell you this, I'm proud of you since you're passionately doing what you want to do. Which is good, regardless of whether in the end you achieved it or not.

Also, you're stressing out on your future. I know, you've been stressing about this since forever. Sometimes, it could be rather overwhelming with so many things that you have to consider. But don't indulge in self-pity again. Yes, sometimes things are not really the way it is. Not the way you want it to be. But let me tell you, there're a lot more people who suffer more than you do, who work harder than you do and they still get less than you do. So seriously, you wanna complain? It's a nice thing to see you sacrificing your sleep for drawing and stuffs, spending most of your money on drawing and eventually, spoiling the light bulb in your room. Yep, it's currently unused. Speaking about this light bulb, because it's gonna spoil at the end of your Form 4, you'll have to spend your drawing times on your study table after that. Well, let's just say that it's more comfortable drawing in your room rather than outside your room.

Right now, I know nothing matters more than drawing for you. Your life depends on it. Literally. You draw for almost everyday (okay, we both know that it's not EXACTLY everyday) because you have this thought that if you stop drawing for more than a few days, your creative cells will die each day and within a week, you can't draw anymore. Pfft.. such naive thought but really, that's one hell of a motivation for you.

Flunyway, because your life depends so much on it, in the near future, when you know you're not supposed to depend on it anymore, you find it a little bit hard to cope with. Look at it this way, you have a boyfriend whom you spend every minute with,every second with, it's him you think about everyday and blah blah... one day, he's out of your life and your mind is just ... blank. You have no sense of direction and goals. But don't worry, you will try to get things sorted out.

Okay, here's the spoiler on your near future. You're gonna end up taking A Levels. A Levels, get it? Never thought about it, huh? Like, I know currently A Levels is just something you heard of, and never really consider about it.

I can imagine your horror. But don't worry, since I'm only 19, I can't read your far future. The good news is, you, surprisingly, will not regret your decision. Even if time can be pushed back and repeated again, you will still take A Levels. Despite the fact that it's so hard that sometimes, you feel like burning the entire college, you'll still find the fun part of it. You'll be going to INTI College in Subang, also one that you'll never think about. Life is just, unpredictable like that. Whatever it is, you'll find great friends in Subang. That is, one of the reasons why you enjoy A Levels. I know you must be pretty scared of mixing with all these KL friends but trust me, not all of them are as sophisticated as you think. They're still lots of really nice friends there. You'll also meet your first few international friends and really, they're just like any other human being on earth. There's gonna be a Hongkie in your class (her name's Angelos). There's also gonna be a Canadian British in science class but then he'll transfer back to England in semester 2. Haha.

I know you will miss you your high school friends. I haven't even said finish about high school and I've already moved on to the college life. Haha... anyway, okay, let me tell you about high school stuffs. You will work hard, pretty hard for your SPM.4Sc2 is a lovely class, which you already know. Oh, and you'll be the Asst. Head Librarian for the next one year! A pretty good achievement for yourself. But then it comes with a heavy responsibility. Throughout the coming one year, you'll learn a lot (and I mean really really a lot) of leadership skills and how to handle people. Some things, they just can't be bought with money. :D
You dedicate quite a lot of time in your library. And your president is Yeo Hui Ming, which is predictable of course. And don't worry about having conflict with her as both of you will work really well. To be honest, she's the best partner I've ever worked with so far. Man, it's been such a long time since I've last talked to her. Really, both you and her don't really have major conflict. Maybe some disagreements but you'll be able to work it out together.

And then you will go to Form 5 and don't worry, you still stay in 5Sc2. This class, at first might seem boring. There're some people in your class that you might not like but guess what, after a few months, you actually enjoy your time there. And these people are those who are constantly making the entire class fun and alive.And your class will not win the gymnastraeda but then you'll get the best in Form 5. So yeah, not really a failure either. Flunyway, as time flies, your class gets even more and more fun. In fact, 5Sc2 is the best class you've ever been to in your 5 years of secondary school life. Those times when you and your friends are working hard towards SPM, you really have to cherish those moments. These things don't come twice. Oh, by the way, you'll be sitting with Qiu Lin, and in front of you will be Chiew Fern and Wen Yu while at the back will be Serene and Lynndy (Lynndy will be entering INTI too and in fact, she's the one who recommends INTI). Hmmm.. nice times.

Then your tuition, well, it's still gonna be the same as in Form 4. You won't be going for your Bio tuition in Form 5 because well, you kinda half give up that subject. And yeah, you'll still be sitting with Sherilynn in Add. Math and Jia Sin won't be with you guys in Form 5. Sad thing, because you guys always depend on her for the answers.

You'll end up getting 9As and 1B in your SPM. Oh, the government is changing it to A+ and A- instead of A1 and A2. When you enter A Levels, you'll give up all your Science subjects. You'll be taking the Arts instead with Econs,Law, Math and Business.

A lot of people are gonna ask you why you would waste all your Science knowledge just like that but worry not. You'll never regret this choice. In fact, each major choices that you make in this coming 3 years, you'll never regret them. Maybe it's simply because you're not the type to regret things. You'll know that what's done is done, and whatever choice you made, you will benefit from it. You will look at the positive side of things and move on, because things change, people change and you, too, will change.

Your family is good, pretty fine as it always is. Your sister's still in Perth, your parents are still the same they are (and to be honest, they haven't really gotten any older) and guess what, you'll be moving to a new house soon. It's not happening yet but yeah, soon. You'll finally get rid of the noisy and dirty MMU students. Your younger sister, brother, all good.

I gotta say that during these times in A Levels, you'll learn a lot of things too. A lot about friendship, and how you will need to learn not to depend someone too much, emotionally. But it's okay, mistakes happen. I'll not tell you what you do since this is a public blog and in fact, you just gotta discover it yourself. Or else, you'll never learn.

So, this is so much the 19-year-old you that can tell you. Have a safe adventure in your not-so-boring-but-still-a-little-boring life. Haha, whatever it is, just enjoy you being 16. You don't become 16 everyday."

...
I've written so much eventhough I'm just nineteen. Really, those who are twenty something (happens to be the blogger who originally thought of this idea), they will write non-stop.

This one's a really nice thing to do so I think you should try too. It's enjoyable and inspiring at the same time.

Carrots.

2011-06-27T21:40:00.001+08:00

I think this is so far the best picture I've in Tumblr.

Maybe one day, I'll shift to Tumblr.

Haha, no. That won't happen.I'd rather to express what I want by myself rather than people doing it for me.

Things I did When I was Young : Neopets

2011-06-23T18:00:00.008+08:00

UPDATE: Jeez.. too many spelling mistakes. Edited them already. Paiseh, if you saw a lot of misspelled words.

When I was 10-13, I was addicted to Neopets, like damn addicted that kind. It's that virtual pets site that we used to play when we were younger. I don't know if you used to but my friends and my sister used to play. But then, my friends weren't as addicted as I was. My sister and I, we were obsessed with it. Everyday, I would never miss their free food, the omelette. The thing is, I took it not for my pet. Well, in the beginning, it was but then later when I knew how easy it is to earn money (all you had to do is to keep playing their games), I only collected the omelette for the sake of collection. Haha, anyway, this is my pet:

His name is Cowback2004. I just logged into Neopets and I hadn't fed him for about a year, so he has this sad face.

The first one the left is the one that I have the most, I have 19 of those.
There're a lot of others one and I want to hao lian to you but I'm too lazy. Haha, if you want, go play yourself.

Anyway, there's a lot more to talk about Neopets. When it's Christmas month every year, I'm the happiest. Neopets give out rare freebies to everyone! Yay, from 1st to 31st December, they have everyday freebies to all of us.
Like some of these:

Okay,some items that can be found in my safety deposit box. It's to be kept there so that things won't get stolen. You think even in the world of pets, your things will not be lost? No, Neopets have to make all these evil stuffs. Once, the ghost stole 5000np, my hard earned cash (okay, not literally cash la.. ). Got so depressed, I had to play games and earn them back.

My favourite place in Neopets was the Fairyland!

It wasn't this map 8 years ago. It was even more beautiful. Fairyland used to be whitish purplish that kind. So damn nice and it was in the clouds with Fairy City at the center. Now, it looks more like Ghost Jungle Land .... not sweet at all. Anyway, I sometimes went to the Wheel of Excitement to gamble/ try my luck. Used to cost only 150np per spin, see whether you will get any free stuffs or not. Most of the time, I only get 200np, which means I only earn 50np. Flunyway, it now costs shockingly, 500np! Wow, didn't know Neopets also has inflation in their world loh.

And not only these, the place we would always go to is the Neopia Central. It's the place where the bank is, the hotel auction house etc. is.

See? There're so many stuffs to do and places to go in Neopets.There's also the pharmacy shop where they sell medicines when your pet is sick. There was once when my pet was so damn sick that I couldn't find for the medicine everywhere. Had to go to the marketplace, where users sell their items, to search for it. Flunyway, speaking about marketplace, we can open our own shops too. I opened mine and it starts from size 1, where you can sell only 5 items. Then you can buy higher sizes and sell more items. Mine is currently size 13. :D

I sell things I don't want in my shop, like:

From the right, Right Rotten Right Boot, Old Rotten Right Shoe, Old Rotten Right Sandal and a Rotting Driftwood. Haha, all rotten ones. Of course, I sell some pretty decent stuffs, but I'll just let you see these sampat-ed ones.

I would also make sure that my pet received decent education. So he read a lot last time. I want to give you see the list of books that he read but then, seems like Neopets don't have it anymore. They've changed so much during these years.

Moving on, my pet fights too. So, yeah, he's a pretty well-rounded pet. Okay, no la. Compared to other pets, my pet's level is damn low. Damn you, Cowback, why you never practise properly?

Below the fishing skills, you can see the jobs taken and failed right? I always wanted to have a job but then, it was always so hard. Always no job. Guess Neopets unemployment rate must be bloody high. Their economists and policy makers better do something about it.

Now, Neopets also teach kids how to buy stocks. If you've already forgotten, I once posted about this in my blog. Last year, I think. Yeah, I was so bored after SPM last year that I started playing again, for one month. Anyway, let me go check my stocks. It's been a year already.

Bloody hell! They dropped 80% lor. Stupid. Luckily I only bought a few shares. Flunyway, I wasn't really into buying stocks. I was young and didn't really know much about it.

I don't know if this blog post is boring you or not but if it is, then you can't give up. This is the most important part of all.

Ever wondered how I can design blogskins and websites and pretty good with HTML stuffs?

Hehe, it all started with Neopets. See, Neopets pretty much contributed a lot to my life. :D
I used to join guilds and things like that. It's kinda like clubs. Few ons that I joined are Hogwarts and some Fullmetal Alchemist club.Flunyway, when I joined these guilds, I was fascinated with how they designed their webpage so nicely. So I wanted to do the same. Some guilds are pretty nice and fun. The Hogwarts one, used to be pretty active. They had thousands of member and yeah, you know, very Harry Potter-like. I applied to enter the Hufflepuff one and we can go to the guild's offcial website and do some exercises there,like we have "homeworks" for Divination, Defence Against Dark Arts, Potions and Herbology (hehe, I still remember some of the names eh... makes me a Harry Potter fan all over again). Flunyway, we could pass up our homework and points will be given to our houses.

When I joined the Fullmetal Alchemist club, the owner was pretty active too. There's this caption competition every week where there would be a picture, and we would have to make a creative caption and then the winner gets something. When I joined, I was the winner every week because I was the only active member.. and I quit after a while cos' I wanted to establish my own guild.

So, that's how my love for designing came about. I started learning for the Neopets HTML Beginner's tutorial to design a nice guild layout. I went to Neopets-related websites to find nice guild layouts, just like you guys find for nice Blogger skins. After a while, I didn't want other people's designs. I wanted to DIY everything myself so at that time, I used my shallow knowledge in the miserable MS Paint. :(

I was just a beginner in all these and when I was 12 or 13, I didn't really heard much about Photoshop. I admired how other people could make animated graphics, cool pictures with cools backgrounds and stuffs. Flunyway, because I started getting addicted to Japanese anime when I was 13 so I made anime related guilds and stuffs. And no one actually joined my guilds, despite my extensive efforts to design guild layouts. Only some friends who are forced by me to join...

I don't have all those past layouts anymore but as far as I could remember, I would sit for a very long time in front of the computer looking at those confusing HTML codes. I don't know why, I can have such high patience when it comes to these. If it's other stuffs, I would've snapped in a short while. Mind you, the biggest struggles when making a website is the HTML and CSS codes, they drive you mad. Literally.

---------------------------------------------------------
That's pretty much about my Neopets post. I wanted to have a list of things I didn when I was young, but I didn't expect that it's so long. Haha, also good la, I could separate it into a few posts, then can update more often you have something to read.

That's all, tudos. Till the next post!

P.S. Alamak!! Forgot to explain what is a PetPet. It's a pet's pet and yeah, I know it's funny but the idea is cute. I have one and his name is Sicklebeast. Lazy to explain to you. If you want to know, go play Neopets.

Jennifer's blog: the chocoholic

2011-06-12T17:16:00.002+08:00

A preview of a half done blog. It's for Jenifer, my kindergarten friend. Haha! She asked me to do like, one year ago, I'm the queen of the queen of procrastination. Okay, this time, I'm really determined to finish them. I need to stretch my creative cells a little bit. It's been so long since I last design something, painted a drawing or draw a human figure. :(

I can't let my creative cells die (I have this believe that my cells are constantly dying if I don't work for it) because you can't be smart if you aren't creative. And really smart people have balanced brain on both sides. So, just because you're good in science doesn't mean you're smart. Smart is a very subjective thing.

Future

2011-06-08T21:39:00.000+08:00

10 years later at this moment of time, what would I be doing? 10 years later, I'll be 29 and will be hitting 30. :(

Am I married by that time or would I be... eww... a career woman who does not have a family? Or do I choose to go single and die single? Do I have my own family already and do I have kids?

How do I look 10 years later? Pretty, prettier, or uglier?
Do I magically gain my weight and is finally not underweight?

Also, I think 10 years to come, none of us will be using handphones with buttons. We'll all be using touchscreen ones. But you know, it's kinda hard to say. Maybe in 20 years from now on, we'll go back to button handphone cos you know, we always go back to vintage. Heck, to be extremely vintage,we'll most probably use this back:


...
Okay, with better functions of course. GPS, WiFi all these la, will be included la. For all you know, we never know ( ... ) what will happen in the future. We keep saying how we, human race, is always looking forward. But the truth is, we still love the antiques and the vintage. Just look at the latest fashion, it happens to be the old fashioned ones. And Mini Cooper is the "in" thing now.

Anyway, yes, yes, moving on to the future, 30 to 40 years from now, how we see Jay Chou is like how our parents see Teresa Teng.


              This is her, in case you don't know who's Teresa Teng.

Like, when we listen Jay Chou's song on the radio, we'll tell our kids, "Oh, hey, mummy used to listen to this when I was young, you know. We all loved him!"

And our kids will go like, "My God, so old fashioned. I can sleep!"

Hehe, we'll get a sense of deja vu, like somehow, that's what we told our parents when they listened to the oldies.

I wonder is Microsoft and Apple still exist in the coming 50 years. I mean, you never know (again.. )

200 years ago, no matter how people kept predicting the future, I bet anyone hardly thought that computer would exist right? Right now, at this moment, computer is pretty much our oxygen. Companies need it, governments need it, everyone needs it. We can't do without it.

So, is there gonna be something big just like how big computer is to us? Maybe our "new" oxygen?

And if you actually give yourself a minute to feel, you can feel how fast the world is moving. Sometimes, I wonder if it is going to move too fast until one day, we're all tired of moving. Maybe in 150 years to come, we'll stop moving altogether. We'll stop changing and stop creating. Handphone models might not be released once a month like us now.

We might just wanna get a break. And then start moving backwards again.

What about our country, Malaysia? Will we still be ruled by the same party in 10 years to come? Will we finally get a woman Prime Minister in 20 years who's a non-Muslim (because 10 years, I think, is too short to change the society's mind)?

I'm hoping that us, Malaysian would be better citizens in the coming future, be more modern and open-minded about most controversial stuffs. And I hope we'll have better development, better public transportation and a cleaner country. :D Whichever party that rules our country, I hope that this country will start to learn to look forward instead of you know, politicians fighting. Okay, okay, I'll start to bore you with politics already so let's set that aside.

Hmm.. I can still see lots of vision on the future you know. I think in 10 years time, inflation will hit the entire world more than we think, considering the depleting resources. A loaf of Gardenia bread that cost RM2.20 now might most probably cost RM22.20 in the future. In fact, I don't think we'll be paying be cash at that time already. Cards or whatever crap will play more important roles than ever.

Also, game consoles will be so different. Wii and XBox Kinetic (I once posted a video here) would be like what, old already. New game consoles is most probably where kids can literally "enter" in the 3D/4D world, whatever it is la...

Okay, I'm done with my visions of the future and one thing I know, I want to live a long life to see how the world will become.

Pray hard that the future is bright. :)

Facebookkkkkkkkkkkk

2011-04-30T16:40:00.000+08:00

Sign ... yesterday was my first royal wedding. Celebration.
It's so dreamy, that Prince William and Kate. And Kate (I dunno how we should address her now, Duchess of Cambridge?)

Okay, both the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge were lovely yesterday. Bloody hell, we'll just stick to William and Kate. I'm not a Briton.

I didn't get to watch the entire thing cos' I was busy coming back to Melaka. :(
But flunyway, we'll just wish them happily ever after. They're the world's favorite couple!

I miss Facebook. I keep having the urge to update my Facebook. Like, I want to update my status like these:

1) "Sigh.. I miss updating my status."
2) "When can I update my status?"
3) "I want back my Facebook"
4) "Ohhhh.... Facebook"

....
I'm bloody addicted to Facebook lor.

But it's okay. I'm proud of myself cos' so far, I manage to control myself. :D

Goodbye Facebook

2011-04-28T23:39:00.000+08:00

Social networking is our oxygen.
For once, I choose to remove my distraction. I'm so bloody courageous.

I deactivated my Facebook account.
I can't have anymore distraction. I Facebook too much.
The only update you can see,is at least, this blog.
Goodbye, my friends.

This Nice Person :D

2011-03-31T00:44:00.000+08:00

You know about this particular friend that I know?
She's one of the most sampat-ed friends I have. She's the one friend who can increase my sampat-o-meter so high that it overshoots.

And this friend, is none other than Sherilynn Wee Wei Jian!

Jeez.. you want to write a blog post about you? It's my birthday present for you, since money can't buy sincerity. So I supposed, why splurge on money to buy presents right? I mean, money's so bloody important, I need it in my life lo.. can't spend it on you.

Cheh, you know I'm joking.

Anyway, this friend, Sherilynn, is always so full of sense of humour that she laughs at the coldest joke ever. Trust me, she can laugh literally at anything. I've seen how scary her laughter can be. She can keep laughing about... just anything.

But beneath these laughter lie a friend that I would treasure forever, that I would not want to lose, that's important to me. She's one of the very few friends whom I'll protect all I can, because I couldn't bear to lose all these friends. To be honest, I do not have much good friends or in fact my own "gang" of friends.I mean, yes, I do. I have my own friends in college. But it's just 2 or 3 whom I'll call really really good friends. I've seen how my other friends who have good friends but when things turn bad, they pretty much leave you alone with your problems. And I know for sure, Sherilynn is not that kind of person.

She's one of those who'd listen to my ramblings in my life. When I had insecurities about my future (back in Form 5. Sigh.. how time flies), she's one of those good friends who'd tell me what she really thinks about my choice of future. Okay, it's been quite some time and I couldn't remember what she said specifically but I know when I needed something that not many could offer, she offered.

And while she seems like a happy-go-lucky girl who's happy with her life, I know she has problems in her life too (which obviously, I can't put it here). But I like how when things don't go the way she wants, she would still be able to keep up with her life and move forward.I'm pretty sure sometimes, she wishes things to go her way too, but at the very least, she's strong enough not to blame others for things that go wrong in her life.

Going for Mr. Huan's Add. Math tuition would've been a total bore if we were not together. And yes, I got blamed for talking too much in class when obviously, she's the one doing the talking more.

I know it's scary how sometimes, friends would just leave when things ain't good. Good friends are hard to find, it's just gonna be one in a million. And I'm darn lucky in life to be blessed with this particular friend who makes my day and makes my life more interesting.

So, to this girl who lent me Add. Math notes, this girl who makes me laugh, this girl whom I can still keep such a close contact with even when we don't see each other that much anymore,

may our

friendship keeps growing and hopes it gets even better!

We're all growing up and we might have to see just how harsh life can be. Beneath the harshness, it's all these nice people who remind me to be grateful in my life.

Happy 19th birthday, darling!

May you enjoy your birthday even when I'm not here!!

Shit Happens, Life Goes On

2011-03-02T22:24:00.000+08:00

There're a lot of times when life gives you shit. Loads of it.

These things in life, woke me up so hard. I've never felt like this before. It makes me wonder about the whole purpose in life, what friends are for when you're in trouble.

And then I realise, friends are not just those who protect you, who help you, who stay by you when you need them. They don't just tell you, "It's okay, things will be better. I'll stay by your side. You can always depend on me." They are not just partners whom you can lean against when your boyfriend ditch you, your fight with your family or when your academic results suck.

This friend woke me up so much that I can never thank her more than enough. Words can't describe everything and obviously, I'm not good with just talking. I do not expect her to read this post but hopefully, somehow she knows how much I will thank her, how much I appreciate her help. :D And in the future, I will do anything it takes to help this friend.

She makes me realise how shallow I've been all these years. I realise that I'm not perfect. I thought that when I'm weak, I can depend on a friend to tell me that things are fine. And I expected that friend to stay by my side because that's what friends are for. And then she gives me a big hard slap (not literally) on my face and tells me to stand by myself. And then I got angry because I thought that's not how friends should treat friends. Suddenly, she wants me to be all alone and I thought she's gonna ditch me. I start to feel insecure, angry and emotional about it. I thought that I got betrayed and cheated, after all the things I've done for her. I thought, how could she forget about all the good memories and then leave me all alone when I really wanna depend on someone.

I've gone through the weakest phase of my life, behaving immaturely and depending on other people. I've been staying in my comfort zone for far too long and expect people to come and help me. And when they don't, I start feeling insecure, feeling so scared that I would be alone.

But this friend, showed me that one can never be strong forever, can never be weak forever either. She showed me that no one can save me except for myself. She showed me that everyone's just gonna pity me, and that's not something worth gaining for. Through experience, I learn from mistakes.

And this friend, showed me that real friends are friends who are not afraid to tell you that you're wrong. Real friends are friends who are not afraid to be hated by you so that one day, you would grow up to be stronger person. Real friends are friends who are not afraid to be misunderstood by you just so that you will learn to be more mature.

She makes me see the brighter side of things, grow up to be a stronger individual who can really stand on both her feet.She makes me realise that shit happens in life and life's a bitch to you sometimes. But it's your own choice to look at brighter side of things or the darker side. If you're gonna look at the darker side, then you can go on and no one's gonna save you. Be negative and live your life like that, no one will give a damn to you anyway.

What you do represents who you are. Mistakes in life make you a more humble person. If I could turn the clock around, I would still commit the same mistakes, do the same thing, make the same drama and be as immature as I was. Because without doing these mistakes, I would never know that such a good friend exist, I would never change myself. Going through this shit, I know I will be much stronger, much braver and tougher. And I also know that in life, you've got to learn from other people, not being ego and think you're great and all sorts of things like that.By learning from other people, you take more rational actions and slowly, you're more mature.

This friend, will leave me one day. She will be back to where she's from but she will never disappear from my life because she's done such a big favour to me and I know, I can never repay with just anything. Whether she reads this or not, I just wanna say thanks to her and she's gonna be one hell of a successful person in her future undertakings.

I'm not that afraid of my future anymore because whatever that comes to me, I know I can stand on both my feet and this time, depend on myself. My family's not gonna stay by my side forever. My parents will leave me one days, my siblings will have their own life and I'm in control of my own life. I know I ought to be stronger and I believe I will because there's nothing I can't do. :)

I might just be another friend she's met throughout her life, one of her many friends. But for all I know, she left amazing footprints in my life that can never be washed away by anything else.

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P.S You can see that my blog is hardly updated nowadays. I'm not gonna close down this blog but I can't really tell you when I will update again, due to all the busy schedule. But if time allows, I'll try to update, so don't worry about it!!

CNY Dedicated Post

2011-02-02T14:22:00.000+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year!!

Okay, it's actually on tomorrow.
It feels great to be back. It's all family time and stuffs.

And to be honest, I have a happy family. Generally, I've got no complaints about my family members. Not everyone is that lucky, mind you. To be able to be back and eat great food and sleep nice bed, live in a nice house and have such a warm environment is not something that everyone would get.

That brings us all back to feeling thankful for whatever that's given to us. True, my family ain't perfect. Everyone has flaws but in my family, none are too serious to cause any major problems.

I've got friends who are ungrateful, who can't wait to get out of their home everyday. No, I'm not particularly pointing at anyone. But to be honest, nothing feels nicer than to be at home. Really, I can never understand how some 14 and 15-year-olds can run away from home. It's like, you're literally given everything free and you get to enjoy your lives. Why do you have to throw them all away and then run with your boyfriend, who can't even buy you a decent meal (and you most probably insist that you want him to buy you bags and stuffs)?

And then there're some people who keep saying that their parents overprotect them and things like that. If you're 13 and you're most probably hitting your puberty, that, I can understand. You're most probably going through your rebellious phase and wanna attract attention. But what I cannot understand is that, you're already 18 and then you blame your parents for not bringing up well. It's like, your parents already send you to study at somewhere faraway from home and yet you're complaining that they overprotect you! It's not like they lock you up in your room and don't let you out. And you get to go out with your friends and basically still have freedom of movement. So, this is called overprotective?

And I also don't like how some children who keep saying things like, "You're my parents and you're responsible for bringing me up. It's your fault that I'm like this today!" Shut up, you idiot. I hate those who keep blaming their parents for not knowing how to bring them up. You're old enough to think what's right and wrong, your parents do not have to tell you a lot of things already. They do not have to tell you every single thing (or else you're say they're annoying and overprotecting you). Be smart yourself.

That's why I feel really lucky that my family's fine the way they are. I've seen some ungrateful teenagers who just don't know how to appreciate how lucky they are to have a complete family. A lot of kids out there are begging to have a family and they don't even have.

Really, you lot of troublesome kids, grow up. Your family's not going to be with you forever.

2011-01-12T22:38:00.000+08:00

Wah lau eh!!
II kept complaining about how busy I was in semester 1 and now sem 2, I don't even have the time to complain already! Big pile of stuffs are coming!!

Might not update blog for some time, forgive me. :(
Sometimes I feel so bad. This blog is one of the most important thing in my life and somehow, I keep abandoning it. It's like, I don't appreciate my boyfriend enough.

But oh wait, I don't have a boyfriend. I did mention that I have no interest in the opposite sex and there's probability that I'm a homo.

Okay, okay, before some people take my statements too seriously and start making rumours about me being a lesbian, I would like to clarify that I'm half joking. I don't think I'm a homo la. But if in the end I realise I am one, I would ....would... would... ~~commit suicide because I cannot accept myself for who I am~~ dunno la, when I become one already only I'll think about it.

Okay, that's all for this short post. See you again!!

Craps.

2011-01-05T00:11:00.000+08:00

Shit hor.. my blog is currently so dead.
My semester 2 is starting and that means:

I'm back to SS15.
Days of saving money again.
No more home cooked food
No more luxurious life
Have to study again
Wake up early. Don't think I can do this.
Wash toilet.
So. Bloody. Boring

But on the other hand, I miss my friends so much that I can't wait to get back. Cos' it's so boring in Melaka. My friends are all in Form 6 and they already started school. Okay la.. to start off with, I don't have a wide social circle. My friends are balik-balik those ones.

I think it's a bad thing. Damn, should have socialised more in highschool, be more active and know a few guys. I realise now, I have no interest in guys. That actually made me wonder about my sexuality.

Okay, stop laughing. I'm serious about this. There's this probability that I might be homo. I don't have interest in guys and I couldn't be bothered to get a boyfriend. In fact, guys are still aliens to me. I don't like to go out shopping with them or you know, whatever crap la.. And then hor, I also like to look at beautiful girls. I think there aren't any handsome guys in this world and there're actually more beautiful girls.

That's why there's a big question mark on my sexuality. Damn la...my mom will be so disappointed if I'm a homo.

WHO AM I??

But then, let's say I'm actually a homo, I beg you to accept myself for who I am. I'm also doing a good thing if I'm a homo. I'll be helping the world. See, there're more girls than guys in this world mah. So if all guys marry the girls, there'll be a lot of baki of girls left. They cannot die without love so they can only find partners of the same sex.

So, by becoming a homo, I'm actually spreading love to the world, just like what God wants us all to do.

Rojaks

2010-12-29T23:50:00.000+08:00

Everyone thinks that my previous post is an emo post.

Okay, so it's most probably the way I express thoughts.

But flunyway, let me get this right first. It is not an emo post hor. I know most of the time when I post something like that and when you read it, you go like, "OMG.. that's exactly what I thought/what is happening to me/what I feel..."

It's a completely normal thing, okay. Get it right, Sherilynn, get it right. You no need to feel terasa, because most of us always think things like that about ourselves.

In the previous post, what I'm trying to let you see is that:

WE ALL HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM.

There are a lot of when we feel inferior about ourselves. We feel that we're not good at a lot of things.

Yes, you there, you're reading my blog and dare you say you've never felt bad before? Dare you say you've never been nervous before when you talk in the public? Dare you say you're always so confident?

No matter how pretty you are, I don't believe that you feel pretty 24/7. No matter how smart you are, I don't believe that you feel smart 24/7.

No matter how perfect someone seem to be, he or she would feel insecure too. So, linking it back to my post, I'm not trying to be emo. I'm just trying to let you see the insecurities that I feel sometimes. It's an example that everyone feels almost the same thing about themselves.

You're not alone in this world. There's a lot of people who happens to feel the same thing. Maybe, you might think that having other people suffering the same problem will not diminish the problem but at the very least, you know you're not odd and that gives you strength and hope.

I don't want to ruin my lovely blog and then give false impressions to you people that this is turning into an emo blog. It's might sound like a little buay paiseh if I say but I know those who frequently follow my blog must have gotten quite some inspiration from it so I don't want to make you feel bad about yourself. That's why I'm making this blog to explain my previous post.

Flunyway, I'm done explaining things I wanna explain.

2 more days and it's gonna be 2011 already. Come to think of it, this year, has been a far more challenging year compared to any other years. I got my SPM results, struggled with one of the most difficult decisions in my life, entered college, gave up things that I should give up and still holding on tightly to things I wanna hold on.

Sigh... I never thought of taking a pre-u course but then again, things would never really fall into our plans, would they? But whatever it is, I'm happy to know that I've never regretted any choices that I've made. Entering INTI wasn't my choice but fateful as it is, I've met great friends there and live a typical student's life. At the end of the day, everything pretty much happens for a reason. After all, if I didn't enter INTI, I wouldn't live the way I am now, wouldn't find new dreams, wouldn't meet new friends, wouldn't give myself another chance.

But everything do not just happen smoothly. There're sacrifices and there are times when I have to give up and it's not easy to do things like that. Flunyway, 2010 doesn't suck. It's a great year, I'm thankful for what happened.

In fact, I shouldn't abandon other years too. They'll feel discriminated :(

Okay, 2009 was a great year too, 2008 was great too and in fact, I think all years are great!!

And I know 2011will come greatly. The only thing I'm sad about is that I'm finishing my course next year before I enter university. But it's okay because with Facebook everyone will still get in touch with one another!! XD

Thank you, Facebook!! You're my God!!

Shit, I'm a Facebook addict liao.